I Promise, It’s Not Lame to Ask a Woman for Permission

Six years ago, Dave Booda was accused of rape. He didn’t defend himself – instead, here’s what happened.

“When Yes Doesn’t Mean Yes”

In Dave’s words: The more I talked to women about their experience, the more I realized it wasn’t at all like mine. I rarely feel unsafe. When I leave a bar at two in the morning, I’m mostly thinking about where I can find an all-night taco shop, not “will I get assaulted on the way to my car”.

I’ve never said no to someone and been afraid they would become violent. I’ve never walked through a crowded bar and been afraid someone will grope me.

When I began to understand this, it changed the way I talked to women about sex. I needed them to understand that my standard of “yes” was no longer “I’m ok with this” as it was in the past, but nothing short of a 100% enthusiastic, full-body yes.

I was also clear that I would celebrate their “no”, if that was true for them.